What horror movies can teach lawyers

Law school and fatherhood aside, I've learned most of life's important lessons from horror movies. (I kid, but only somewhat.) Growing up, I watched creep shows with my dad. It was our way of spending quality time together. Today, creep show memorabilia has found its way into our firm, especially around Halloween, when you can't walk into a conference room without bumping into a pumpkin, a Freddy or a Jason. In this, the most festive time of the year, I'd like to share some favorite horror movie quotes and the infinite wisdom they impart for the practice of law. Bonus points to those who correctly identify the movie associated with the quote (answers at the end).

1. "Hello, Clarice." Whenever greeting an existing, new or prospective client, always greet them confidently. Be firm and direct, not overly wordy, and greet them by name. This is how you start (and maintain) a solid relationship with clients. Don't offer them fava beans on the first meet.

2. "Here's Johnny!" Perspectives vary, and schedules have an impact, but show up in-person to court hearings when you can. Stand before the judge. State your name clearly and argue your client's position. Exercise your muscles as an advocate in the hall of justice. While you're at it, use the doorknob to enter the courtroom. It's easier on the door.

3. "They're here." Be prepared and know your pitch to a prospective new client. Don't try to be anything other than yourself or oversell what you do. If you're not the lawyer for them, that's ok.

4. "Everyone goes a little mad sometimes." We all suffer from anxiety and the pressures of our field. It's normal. Find positive outlets that don't involve keeping around decomposing relatives.

5 "Whatever you do, don't fall asleep." Most of us have slept under our desks as baby lawyers in Big Law. We still have late nights to get through, no matter the stage in our career. Deadlines are without mercy.

6. "I want to play a game." Don't take yourself too seriously. Our work is serious, but we need to have a sense of humor about ourselves and be light when we can. For our own sake, and to keep our teams positive and motivated.

7. "It's alive!" Make sure your legal writing has life and emotion. Boring briefs put judges to sleep. A mentor once told me I couldn't use adjectives in mine. Now I use them whenever I can.

8. "You're going to need a bigger boat." Always plan for the future. Believe in your capacity for great things, including positive growth for your practice. When you need the bigger boat, be grateful.

9. "They're all gonna laugh at you." We take that risk every day. That's what comes from being in the arena. Be fearless anyway.

10. Every Michael Myers line ever (the shape, not the actor). Silence is golden. If the tentative is in your favor, let it be.

11. "This is my boomstick." Your voice is your weapon. Make every word count.

12. "We've traced the call. It's coming from inside the house." Before you blame someone else, especially on your own team, ask yourself how you might be responsible and how you can help fix the problem.

13. "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters." The world is full of all different people with different needs, desires, personalities, quirks and foibles. Some will be clients, some opposing counsel and some colleagues. You will see them again and again. Recognize that we're all a part of the same community.

14. "Brains!" You have one. Use it. Don't eat others.'

15. "Get out!" Always be respectful, even when inviting someone to leave.

16. "Pancakes." Always have a hearty breakfast. It helps with productivity. Unless you're intermittent fasting. Then hold off for a good brunch.

17. "You're next! You're next!" This is especially important for associates. Don't give up just because you didn't get to meet with the client or argue the motion or appear at trial. Your time is coming, as long as you're politely persistent.

18. "Keep watching the skies." Don't give up on your dreams. Also, I do believe in aliens. You can, too.

19. "This is not a dream. This is really happening." All your dreams can come true if you hold on to that belief. (This one also applies in a negative way if you're not paying careful attention to what you're writing, your deadlines or other important details. Then yes, it can really be happening. Check your work.)

20. "Be afraid. Be very afraid." After all, it is the most wonderful time of the year.

Answers: 1. Silence of the Lambs. 2. The Shining. 3. Poltergeist. 4. Psycho. 5 Nightmare on Elm Street. 6. Saw. 7. Frankenstein. 8. Jaws 9. Carrie. 10. Halloween. 11. Army of Darkness. 12. When a Stranger Calls. 13. Motel Hell. 14. Return of the Living Dead. 15. Amityville Horror. 16. Cabin Fever. 17. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 18. The Thing from Another World. 19. Rosemary's Baby. 20. The Fly.