My Billable Hour

11:01-11:04 a.m. I step back into my office after taking a two-minute break to get my second cup of coffee of the day, and find 16 new emails waiting for me. Great. Scrolling through them. Client is looking for an ETA on the revised underwriting agreement for the Project RazorSnake deal ... Some associate in our Munich office is looking for a recommendation for a DUI attorney in Malibu ... More RazorSnake back-and-forth ... A reminder from accounting that all billable time for the week must be entered and closed out by tomorrow ... Oh God, an email from the partner on RazorSnake wanting to schedule a time to review a few "teaching points" with the junior team later today. This is my life. Kill me. (0.1 hours to RazorSnake)

11:05 a.m. An Outlook alarm flashes on my computer desktop, reminding me that I have a quick bring-down diligence call starting now for a client who runs a chicken smelting business. Shouldn't be too eventful--other than trying to figure out what chicken smelting is. Click on the client's digital SmarTimer icon and watch the minutes start to rack up. (0.1 hours and counting to the chicken smelters)

11:06-11:12 a.m. Coffee's already cold. Voices I barely recognize are droning on about compliance with the chicken smelter's financial covenants, so it seems like as good a time as any to scan the legal blogs. Let's see ... Looks like no new layoffs so far this week ... Now let's swing over to the Huffington Post ... and then maybe People.com ... Ooo, Brangelina are on the rocks again? Possibly? Hmm. There is hope. (0.2 hours and counting to the chicken smelters)

11:13 a.m. Sweet Jesus, how many questions can you really ask about chicken smel- Oh, just got an email from the RazorSnake partner. He needs comments on the underwriting agreement ASAP. OK, click on the desktop timer for RazorSnake--Damn, that's right, you can't run two timers at once. Something about billing two clients at the same time being unethical, blah blah blah. Well, then don't ask me to work for two clients at the same time, right? Besides, isn't the ability to multitask supposed to be a good thing for lawyers? Jeez. (0.1 hours and counting to the chicken smelters; mental note to dupe that out later for RazorSnake)

11:22-11:40 a.m. The chicken diligence is finally over. Still cranking on the RazorSnake agreement. Colin, the new lateral from down the hall, pops his head in to shoot the breeze. I probably should stop the RazorSnake billing timer. Then again, I've been tearing through this agreement faster than most associates would--I've already given the client at least 0.4 in added value--so the Colin interlude is really just a wash, then, right? Right. (0.3 hours and counting to RazorSnake)

11:41-11:44 a.m. Hmm, I wonder if Colin's on Facebook? Signing on ... Yup, there he is and? Oh God, I have a new "friend request" from Patrice, the tax partner one floor up who always looks at me like I've just murdered her imaginary friend. I barely know her; why would she want to friend me? And isn't there a firmwide policy against that sort of thing anyway? Or maybe I'm thinking of the rule that says we shouldn't use Facebook at work. Whatever. Back to RazorSnake. (0.1 hours to Firm Citizenship)

11:45-11:47 a.m. Call from the corporate department chairman, looking to staff me on a new high-yield bond offering for some company that makes windmills. Or water parks. Something with a w. I try to beg off, arguing that I'm too jammed on RazorSnake. He doesn't buy it. There's an organizational call with the deal team in about an hour. Great. (0.1 hours to New Project Something-with-a-W)

11:48 a.m. Email from the partner on RazorSnake: "Available for teaching pts mtg in 40 mins?" My response: "Sorry. No. Jammed til 4." Thank you, new windstorm-watermelon deal. (0.1 hours to RazorSnake)

11:49-11:51 a.m. Back at my desk after a quick bathroom break. Damn. I forgot to turn off the RazorSnake timer when I got up. Well, it's only an extra 0.1. And, hey, I thought about the client at least twice when I was in the bathroom. (0.1 hours to RazorSnake)

11:52-11:55 a.m. Instant messaging with Dustin, one of my third-year associate buddies down the hall, to try to figure out which of our friends work for investment banks so we can submit their names as potential clients to escort to the firm's Lakers skybox. We come up with nine between us. Sweet. (0.1 hours to Business Development)

11:56 a.m. Email from Nate, a senior associate on the recruiting committee, asking me if I'm free for a last-minute lunch interview with some potential lateral hire. Sure, might as well. I could use a decent lunch on the firm's dime. (0.1 hours to Off-Campus Recruiting)

11:57 a.m. Goddammit, I forgot about the stupid org call for this new waterworks-widget project at 1 p.m. There goes lunch. I email Nate the bad news. (0.1 to Off-Campus Recruiting--and screw it, 0.1 hours to the New Project W deal, too. They cost me a free lunch.)

11:58-11:59 a.m. Call from a number I don't recognize. I let it go to voice mail and then play back the message right away. Ah, it's a headhunter. Hmm. She's looking for a sixth-year-or-higher litigation associate interested in working in Silicon Valley. Sounds perfect--if only I weren't a third-year corporate associate working in Los Angeles. Don't these people do their research?! Still, I save the message and take down her number. You never know. (0.1 hours to Professional Development)

12:01 p.m. Another email from the RazorSnake partner, asking me when I'll be ready for the teaching points meeting. For the love of God, doesn't he see that I'm busy?? And you know what, I've got a teaching point for him: Time is money, honey. So, please, just leave me alone and let me do my work. And maybe buzz me again in six minutes. (0.1 to Razo-- you know what, forget it. This one's on the house.)

T. Iktok is a pseudonym for a mid-level associate at a large Southern California law firm.

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