Family law community mourns mediator, mentor Gretchen Taylor

Gretchen W. Taylor, a longtime family law attorney, former Superior Court commissioner and mediator known for bringing empathy, humor, and an unconventional approach to some of Southern California's most difficult family disputes, died Friday, Oct. 2.

Taylor devoted more than four decades to family law, including nearly 20 years as a practicing attorney, 12 years on the bench and more than 15 years as a private neutral.

To retired Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Amy Pellman, now a mediator at Signature Resolution, Taylor was also a mentor and close friend -- someone she described as extraordinarily kind, "wicked smart" and possessed of a sharp wit and enormous heart.

"She was a one-of-a-kind person," Pellman said. "She had a beautiful soul, and you could just feel it."

The two met in 2005, shortly after Pellman became a Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner. Taylor, who had followed Pellman's work as head of the Alliance for Children's Rights, called her and encouraged her to join the court's family law assignment.

"She said, 'I need a girlfriend downtown,'" Pellman recalled.

Pellman took the assignment, later became a judge, and the friendship endured for more than two decades.

Family law attorney and mediator Angela D. Harris had a similar experience with Taylor. Harris met her in 2003 as a young attorney and was immediately drawn to a judicial officer who hardly fit the stereotype of a "stuffy" judge.

"I immediately wanted to be just like her," Harris said. "Gretchen had it all: beauty, brains, charisma and style."

Harris said Taylor brought flair to everything she did, whether running a courtroom, conducting a mediation, or leading a continuing legal education program.

"She was a true legal diva, and as a young attorney, I definitely wanted what she had," Harris said.

Over the years, Taylor became first a mentor and then a close friend, Harris said. Taylor offered candid advice and could also be trusted with confidences -- "girl code," she would say with what Harris remembered as a sisterly wink.

Taylor took particular pride in a field of law she believed dealt with the events that mattered most in people's lives.

"It's about the most important thing in everybody's life, which is our family transitions," Taylor told the Daily Journal in 2022. "You look back on life. You don't really talk about the time you slipped and fell at Safeway. It's birth, death, marriage, family. ... It's just infinitely, in my mind, meaningful work."

Born in Los Angeles, Taylor spent much of her youth in Spain and attended an English boarding school. She graduated from Loyola Marymount College with a degree in Spanish literature in 1966 and became a social worker, handling family cases in dependency court.

She attended Southwestern Law School at night while continuing to work full time, graduating in 1979. After initially working in general practice, Taylor found her calling in divorce and family law.

Taylor practiced primarily family law for 18 years before becoming a Riverside County Superior Court commissioner in 1997. She moved to Los Angeles County Superior Court in 2003, where she presided over a family law calendar until retiring from the bench in 2009.

She then began another lengthy career as a private neutral, working with Alternative Resolution Centers and later Signature Resolution. She also served as a judge pro tem, discovery referee and parenting plan coordinator.

"Comm. Taylor joined the Signature Resolution family in 2019, and in the seven years that followed she became one of the most distinctive and respected voices among our neutrals," Signature Resolution CEO Dario Higuchi said. "Anyone who had the opportunity to know her knew she was a strong and unforgettable presence. She was passionate about her work, deeply committed to the people she served, many of whom were unrepresented, and never afraid to speak up for what she believed was right."

Family law attorney Alexandra Leichter of Leichter Leichter-Maroko LLP remembered Taylor as a formidable presence long before she became a judicial officer.

"She was one powerful voice in the family law community, primarily because her knowledge and assessment of the law was 'right on' and often unassailable," Leichter said. "She was afraid of no one and nothing."

That reputation only grew after Taylor joined the bench, Leichter said, but she believed mediation was where her abilities were most apparent. She relished the opportunity to communicate directly with litigants rather than solely through their attorneys.

"When she presided over a mediation, she was so extremely knowledgeable and astute that it was often difficult to counter her assessment of the case," Leichter said. "Invariably, she turned out to be correct, much as the attorneys and litigants wanted to dispute her."

Taylor became particularly well known for handling high-conflict divorces, where she believed years of disappointment, anger and loss often mattered as much as the legal issues.

Her techniques could be decidedly low-tech. Taylor became known for covering walls with oversized Post-it notes listing the issues separating the parties, using different colored markers to show their respective positions.

"As soon as you just name the problem they start to calm down," Taylor told the Daily Journal in 2010. "They see there's only three points on the board and say, 'Oh, that's my problem.'"

Leichter recalled watching Taylor perform much the same exercise on a blackboard in complex financial cases.

"When she went to the blackboard and outlined a very extensive and convoluted financial case, your jaw often dropped at how astute she was and just 'right on,'" she said.

Taylor also baked cookies for mediation sessions, carrying the shared plate between rooms along with her Post-it notes.

Her generosity extended to other lawyers, Leichter said. She routinely called Taylor seeking an opinion, an assessment of a case or help with a difficult issue. She nearly always answered immediately, she said, and when she did not know an answer, she knew someone who did.

Taylor also worked to strengthen ties within the family law community. Harris recalled her as an enthusiastic supporter of the Southern California Family Law Inn of Court, a nonprofit that brings judges and lawyers together for monthly dinners and promotes civility in the profession.

Harris credited Taylor with helping increase judicial participation in the organization's dinners and annual Judges Night.

"She was a trailblazer to our nonprofit," Harris said. "Gretchen's magnetic presence, both professional and personal, will be missed but never forgotten."

Pellman remembered that same combination of warmth and forcefulness. Taylor had a dazzling smile, a raucous laugh, and a distinctive personal style, she said, but she also spoke her mind.

"She cared so deeply about the families and children that she worked with as a commissioner, as a mediator, and just other people in the world," Pellman said. "She has helped so many people in this world."

Taylor remained engaged in family law issues late in her career. In a Daily Journal column published in March 2025, she urged courts to make mediation an early step in family disputes rather than waiting until litigants had spent months or years fighting.

About a week before Taylor's death, Leichter called her to ask whether she was available to serve as a discovery referee. For the first time in decades, she said, she did not promptly return her call.

The silence was so unlike Taylor that she tried several more times. Days later, Leichter learned through a Los Angeles County Bar Association listserv that she had died.

"Our family law community has lost a giant in her passing," Leichter said, adding that Taylor would be remembered as "one of the most effective and knowledgeable family law practitioners" of the past five decades.

For Harris, the loss was equally personal.

"The family law community has lost a truly remarkable woman," she said.

And for Pellman, Taylor's death is not simply the loss of a respected colleague or mentor.

"It's a huge loss for me," she said. "A huge loss."